Size Matters
Oh, wow, brace yourself for the sheer excitement of snowshoes—just plopped there on this Snowshoe Sham Outside 365 Pullover Hoodie, mocking your pathetic attempts at winter bravery. These bad boys are basically daring you to strap them on and stumble through the snow like a drunk yeti, only to give up five minutes in because your toes are crying and your Wi-Fi’s calling. Perfect for the delusional “outdoorsy” crowd who’d rather flex their fleece than their frostbitten ego. Slap this on and bask in the sarcastic glory of looking like you might do something rugged, while you’re actually just hogging the heater and doomscrolling. Cozy? Sure. Convincing? Not a chance.
Product Features (Big Deal, Huh?):
- Kangaroo pouch, shove your grubby hands in there, genius.
- Drawstring hood, adjust it when you’re too dumb to dodge the wind.
- 50% cotton, 50% polyester, durable enough to outlast your biking skills.
- US cotton and OEKO-TEX dyes, ethically made, so you can feel smug about your sweatshop-free life.
Care Instructions (You’ll Still Ruin It):
- Tumble dry medium, because ‘low’ is too hard to figure out.
- Iron on low, good luck not scorching it, klutz.
- No dry cleaning, Skid says it’s for rich idiots anyway.
- Wash cold (30C or 90F), math’s tough, we know.
- Non-chlorine bleach, go wild, stain magnet.
